Friday, 13 September 2013

Back with a Bump

I know..I know....I have neglected this Blog...but it's been the Summer Holidays and a lovely one at that, and everyone's been happy and at home and relaxing and being happy with 'who they are'......ahhhh, happy days!  But by the final week, my kids were actually quite excited about going back to school to show off their new bags & see their friends....

It's now the end of the first full week back to school.


I am frustrated by the lack of communication as usual.
My daughter is being excluded from her 'friends' as usual.

Nothing changes.

Last night she was in tears telling us that when she approached the girls in her class, they turned their backs on her and told her to, 'Go away, I want to talk to my friends.'  There are the usual two 'top dogs.'  Isn't there always?  Then all the sheep hang around them, adoringly.  My daughter tends to jump from group to group (not knowing where she belongs).  Most of the time, she tolerates it....but sometimes, it gets to her.

I watched a programme on T.V last night - 'Educating Yorkshire', and I was appalled at what I saw.  The school bully, a girl (surprise, surprise) was systematically and sneakily bullying a lovely boy, who took it and took it and took it and took it, until he snapped one day and went for her.  He was put on an 'anger management programme' and had to apologise for his 'behaviour' ('How dare he hit a girl!'  Even though she was bigger and stronger than him). She behaved appallingly, to other pupils and to teachers, but they were all scared of her, and she got away with her nasty and vindictive behaviour over and over again.  The poor boy, went on, trying his best, but was bullied again...he finally lashed out again (good for him) and was excluded!  'Excluded for being bullied' his lovely 'geek' friends said to the Head when they mustered up the courage to stand up for their friend...but they were ignored...The bully wasn't ignored, she was listened to, helped and pandered to.  It made me sick.

Now I am not for one moment saying my daughter has to put up with anything like this, but children do...and they are ignored...and the bullies with all the 'social or family problems' are listened to, helped and pandered to.  It's the quiet ones who burst one day that need to be listened to, it's the one's that are a little bit different that need protecting, and the bullies, they need educating in how they are making people feel, whether it's because they are saying horrible things or excluding their peers.  Why are we not teaching children to respect each other?  You don't have to like everyone...and goodness knows, I am always telling my daughter, 'not everyone will like you, don't try to make them.'  But can't we just be civil and at a push....kind? 

Flexi-School starts on Monday.  It's been lots of work & I am really looking forward to getting started.  My daughter can't wait.  She said this morning that she is so happy that she is attending on Monday.  Apart from the educational side, flexi-school will give kids who may not 'fit in' some respite.  A place where they can be 'who they are'.  A place where I will insist everyone is kind to each other.


  1. Fine words. I also watched Educating Yorkshire last night. I was a little bit bullied at school. I lashed out when no one was watching. Then the bullying stopped as they though I was mad. I also managed to fail all my CSEs. I think that takes some doing. Perhaps I was mad after all. Good luck with the flexi Schooling. I think the model will grow beyond your wildest dreams.

  2. Thank you so much for your reply - it is greatly appreciated. You were not mad, although I know how easy it is for people to make you feel that way sometimes...what's mad is they are allowed to get away with it. Many thanks for your good wishes, I know that there will be hurdles to overcome on the way, but inspiration comes from the film 'We bought a Zoo', "If you do something for the right reasons, nothing can stop you..."

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